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From the moment Jill and I met Kyle Rogers neither of us liked him. It was a small town and Jill was Emily's best friend so we saw Emily and Kyle frequently. Our feelings about him only became stronger.One day, I was naked in my easy chair. Jill, naked except for a collar around her neck and leathers on her wrists, was in my lap. Her mind had been far away for some time."I hate Kyle Rogers," she said. I didn't respond. About three minutes passed before she spoke again. "And I love Emily." Ah, there's the rub," I thought. Jill and Emily did love each other like sisters, and, like sisters, that love was sometimes jealousy or envy or hate. I wondered sometimes if Jill's love of Emily had sexual overtones even she didn't recognize.I'd call Jill passively bisexual. She didn't seek out other women, but she enjoyed it when I told her to make love to one. During my senior year at Yale, another woman, Cassie, lived with us and shared our bed. Jill and Cassie had sex often. I'd brought other. I connected to some women no doubt, but maybe I was too ambitious andgot nervous about what I should do next, so that I lost them againnearly immediately. With one girl I had the feeling that it could leadsomewhere. I was able to hold her gaze for a bit and she even smiled.But then I obviously wanted too much too fast when I wanted to enter herthoughts completely. It felt like a sting in my head and I closed myeyes in reflex. After that she didn?t look at me again so I gave up.After those frustrating moments, I took the opportunity to meet some ofMr. Steinberg?s friends, when he invited me to a cup of tea on a Sundayafternoon. It was a teacher?s couple in their early fifties and aretired psychiatrist. It turned out that they had used their shared timeat the university to do research on the topic of "the gift". Since theydidn?t want other people to know about it, they wrote down their resultsin a book that was never published.We talked a lot and actually they had more questions than I.
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